"The Right To Bear Arms": Were the Founding Fathers Wrong?

**Disclaimer: I realize that this is going to be a controversial stance for me to take on gun control, especially among my lovely community of conservative friends and family. I want to invite you to completely disagree with what I am about to argue. Please realize that I respect all of you, and believe that we are all entitled to our own opinions about this issue. So, for the sake of respect, I would ask any of you who disagree with me or with each other to keep your comments polite, civil, and to remember that even though you are not talking directly to someone's face, you are still engaging with another human being who deserves to be treated with generosity and kindness. 

As a student of history, I believe that it is incredibly important to put historical documents within their appropriate context in order to better understand the original motivations and meanings of the words that the document contains. Every society, though there may be many commonalities between societies, is an entity that can only be completely understood by the people who comprised, formed, and experienced it on a daily basis. It is important to realize that the things that are important to us in American society and culture today are not the things that were important to American society and culture in the late 1700s and early 1800s.

One of the supreme differences between America today and America 350 years ago is that today we are not an occupied nation. We are not in the middle of a bloody revolution with forces made up of our untrained private citizens. In fact, we are currently the most formidable military power in the world. We have a military comprised of several different branches of trained military personnel, all with specific purposes aimed at defending our country's private citizens from invasion, acts of terrorism, and internal conflict. Why, then, do private citizens feel the need to own firearms at all?

As far as I can tell from the arguments I have been exposed to recently, most NRA members and those in opposition to any gun control measures point to a specific clause of the the Constitution as their raison suprême. To quote, "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed." As with other clauses of the Constitution, the second amendment at first seems to be a blunt, specific statement. And at the time it was written, it certainly would have been specific enough. A milita still existed in the United States on December 15, 1791, when the Bill of Rights was officially ratified. In fact, in the newly created nation with an infant army, a militia was still a necessity. The threat of European conflict (see the War of 1812) was still an imminent possibility. At this time, taking away the rifles (rifles, which I must point out, were only able to fire a maximum of 45 shots per minute, a laughable amount when compared to our modern technology) of citizens who may be called on in the event of an attack on the nation would have been ludicrous. 

In the context of our 21st century world, however, the intent of the second amendment becomes more vague. Because we are not an unstable, newborn nation without proper means of defense, we no longer have the need of a militia. Of course, when the second amendment is quoted by the NRA and others they most often, and conveniently, ignore the first part of the amendment, choosing to focus on the "right of the people to keep and bear arms [...]." What I have yet to find is any reasonable justification behind their insistence that any citizen ought to have the right to own a gun with little (and, in some circles, ideally no) regulation by the government.

Unlike many anti-gun campaigners, I am not going to take this opportunity to bash the policies concerning private sales of guns or the so-called "gun show loophole." Statistics simply do not reflect that guns sold at these venues or by private sellers have any significant impact on the crimes committed in the United States. What I find to be more of a problem than any policy on the regulation of firearms sold and purchased in America is the attitude toward a real and dangerous threat in our country today.

Why are Americans (who, let's say, have purchased firearms legally) willing to take the risk that someone may use the gun that they own to do serious harm to another human being? If we are all completely honest with ourselves, is it not our job as citizens to try our best to protect our communities? When a person brings a firearm into their house, they relinquish a significant part of their ability to perform this duty. It is impossible for a private citizen to prevent unauthorized access to the guns that they own at all times. Anyone looking for an opportunity to acquire a gun for illicit purposes that knows a gunowner if they are motivated enough will be able to find the means and opportunity to acquire that weapon without the knowledge of the owner. The guns used in both the Columbine and Sandy Hook Elementary shootings were guns that were purchased legally and then used without the permission of the owner to commit heinous crimes. Is owning a gun simply for the pleasure of owning a gun reason enough to allow the risk of instances like these to continue? Is it not worth sacrificing a few individual liberties in order to better provide for the safety and security of our communities?

Let me now return to my original title. Were the founding fathers wrong to include the second amendment in the Bill of Rights? Within the context of their society, of course not. When George Washington said, "Firearms stand next in importance to the constitution itself. They are the American people's liberty teeth and keystone under independence … from the hour the Pilgrims landed to the present day, events, occurences and tendencies prove that to ensure peace security and happiness, the rifle and pistol are equally indispensable … the very atmosphere of firearms anywhere restrains evil interference — they deserve a place of honor with all that's good," he said it within a very specific set of circumstances. These circumstances, however, are no longer applicable to our country's situation. Certainly President Washington would not consider the overwhelming number of gun-related crimes committed in the United States today worth the risk that the "right to bear arms" now presents. 

insecurities

i've been thinking a lot lately about my flaws. mostly these thoughts stem from a handful of failed relationships, a general feeling of being taken advantage of, and other pitiful things that i could whine about endlessly. essentially, i try too hard to get people to like me. that is the root of my problems. i pander, simper, and brown-nose my way into people's lives, hoping that if i say the right thing, do the right thing, and am there for them enough that it will matter. the truth is, none of it matters. at the end of the day what these people think they admire, respect, or even, yes, love, is a lie. i've had so many people tell me that they are intimidated by me because they think i'm perfect. nothing else anyone has ever said to me has made me hate myself more. if i'm completely honest with myself, i want people to see my flaws. i want them to know every horrible detail of my selfishness, pride, conceit, and brokenness. i want them to see it plainly, and to tell me that it doesn't matter. i want to be loved, respected, and known. i don't want admiration. i don't want praise. i want to be vulnerable, and for others to see the strength in that vulnerability. but i am terrified of all of this being too much. i'm afraid that all i will get in return for exposing the depths of my heart is rejection, disgust, or hatred. even worse, i'm afraid of pity. i wish i weren't afraid of all of these things all the time. i wish i could get over my fear of abandonment. i wish i could just be me, and that that would be enough. but how can i do this when i've been told over and over that it isn't enough? how do i dig myself out of the pit of insecurities that others have dug for me, and i have willingly let them toss me into?
i've decided that i'm going to stop lying. i'm going to stop covering up the hurt. i hope that by this someone will choose to know me for who and what i am: a broken-hearted, determined, and resilient woman who tries her best to make life better for those around her. i hope that they see that the reason i want so badly for others to like me is that i want to be able to care for people the way i want to be cared for. i want to give the gift of unconditional acceptance that i wish someone had given me. i want them to feel that they don't have to perform in order to gain my respect and love. i want them to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that no matter what, i will always do my absolute best to be there for them when they need me, and even when they don't. maybe this all sounds dramatic, but i don't really care. i think everyone, whether they will admit it or not, wants exactly the same thing. they're just too afraid to say it.
how's that for honest?

so...

i think it's about time i actually posted something, since the last time i did was the beginning of the semester and now i only have 6 weeks until the end.

here are the highlights of the year so far:

1) having the best lab group in biology history. we're such screw ups. can't even extract a little DNA from a banana without splattering fruit all over everyone at our table. it's awesome.

2) definitely have the best roommate ever. so many escapades.

3) cried for the first time in public. it's a strangely freeing (but mostly embarrassing) feeling.

4) making an A in a math class. first time since geometry. YES.

5) decided that i'll work in acquisitions for a museum someday. would that not be the best job ever??

6) co-starred in a short film my roommate is working on with some of the best people in the world.

7) got so bored at 1 A.M. that my roommate decided it would be fun to try to crawl into bed with every girl on our hall. we succeeded. people really shouldn't leave their doors unlocked.

8) was having such a great conversation that i totally didn't notice the 4.7 magnitude earthquake that hit.

9) hit the weight room in the gym for the first time ever. (shhh)

10) worked on a couple of art projects just for the heck of it. this hasn't happened in a long, long time.

so, it's been a pretty uneventful semester. i'm very literally out of exciting things i did. still loving college. still have the best friends in the entire world. life is good. :)

great adventures... :)

today was the first day of class. there was snow on the ground -- a first for a texas girl like me. despite being stuck in the weather for a couple of days, i did make it back to school. best of all, my alarm decided to set itself for p.m. instead of a.m. and i woke up 15 minutes before i had to be in class. i wrote out my schedule on my hand, threw my books in a bag, dressed in a jiffy, and made it to class on time. i feel like a real college student now.

best thing? i didn't forget anything in my scuffle to get ready. win. major win.

stuck.

muskogee, oklahoma. this is what i get for trying to go back to school.

20 before 20

i keep promising my friend i'll do one of these. since i can't sleep, it might as well be now. :)

20 before 20

1.) learn basic Italian

2.) draw… draw like i never have before

3.) find out how to really let go

4.) become a musical aficionado

5.) apply for an internship at an art museum

6.) have some fun … live life abundantly

7.) find something i’m good at and be genuinely proud of it

8.) learn to take a compliment

9.) find a way each day to make someone else’s life better

10.) stay out all night stargazing

11.) learn how to make a latte

12.) finish two art projects

13.) read a book on byzantine history

14.) make to-do lists … get stuff done

15.) run a half marathon

16.) ace a math class

17.) read a Russian novel

18.) forget to be angry

19.) love unselfishly

20.) document important moments … finish an entire journal

so, here you are! not lofty goals, but certainly something to work on.

prompting by: claire

if there be one thing, let it be thankfulness

i feel like since it's the beginning of a new year i should do one of those reminisce-and-feel-wiser kind of posts. of course, i really don't feel any wiser, and i would really like to forget a vast majority of this year, but i think that a look backward is warranted. so here are 12 things i've learned this year, in chronological order.

january, 2010 -

to live life is to experience it. locking yourself up and trying to shut out the badness of the world also isolates you from the incredible and wonderful things that you might discover.

february, 2010 -

some days, it's really tough to get out of bed and face the idea of another dreary day. thankfully, God doesn't let the dreariness last forever. as bad as things may seem, there is always something to be happy about.

march, 2010 -

high school is overrated. it is so not like an 80s teen movie. thanks, john hughes, for giving me false hope. (p.s. - i still love your wonderful imagination)

april, 2010 -

the months between spring break and the end of school are the longest in the entire year.

may, 2010 -

graduation is a big deal. but it really doesn't feel like it. decisions, on the other hand, are a very, VERY big deal. and they always feel like it.

june, 2010 -

there is nothing in the world that can give you an appreciation for hard work like working hard can.

july, 2010 -

it is possible to not only survive a broken heart, but to never let on that you've been hurt. life goes on, regardless of how awful you feel.

august, 2010 -

a little bit of distance can be the best medicine.

september, 2010 -

life is a mess sometimes. it's easy to lose focus on what's really important.

october, 2010 -

people are hypocrites. it's ok to be angry, and crying doesn't make you weak -- it makes you human.

november, 2010 -

God always provides what you need: friends, faith, family, love. hope springs eternal.

december, 2010 -

forgiveness is sometimes easy. but most of the time, it really isn't. the best things in life, though, aren't always easy. sometimes the struggle is part of the blessing.

the overarching lesson that i've learned this year, though, is that God is sovereign. no matter how hard you try to screw up your own life, He brings about good. you don't always see that good, though. you have to look for it.

i've been through a lot this year, especially in the past two months. i'm not the same person i was in high school. God, in His grace, has changed me. every day i see His hand in my life, guiding me and teaching me to seek after His plans, and to surrender my own. i can't say that i'm very good at this yet, but my resolution for this year (oh yes, couldn't end without one) is to walk daily in such a way that i allow God to lead me. i want to give up my stubbornness and arrogance, and completely surrender to His will.

"In you, LORD my God,
I put my trust.

I trust in you;
do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you
will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.

Show me your ways, LORD,
teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
Remember, LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.
Do not remember the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you, LORD, are good.

Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.
All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.
For the sake of your name, LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great."

(Psalm 25:1-11)

something i wrote

this is something i wrote a while ago, that i think deserves a second look.

ever have a moment where you realize you've lost a piece of truth that you used to have? yeah, i just had one of those moments. so, read. enjoy. please listen to the music. it is truly inspiring.

i was browsing through classical music earlier today, and came across what might be the most despondent sounding piece of art i have ever heard. you know something is truly art when you feel what the artist must have felt. hopeless, fear-ridden, like he was drowning in a pain that would never end. for a brief moment, you feel the promise of hope -- the emotion evolves and you feel... free. and then it's back. the haunting sorrow. the anguish. what a perfect picture of the human condition without the knowledge, the conviction of grace. for the knowledge itself is not enough. a person needs to feel something before it seems real. go listen, and see if you understand:

had chopin been a poet instead of a composer, perhaps he might have written something like this?

burn, icy hand upon my heart

and cut my soul to pieces

leave not one whole part

that would feel again

sing, haunting melody of spite

triumph in your brief hour

set all breath in me to flight

erase the memory of what i could have been

leave no trace of soul

keep my heart bleeding

always broken, never whole

until i forget my needing

why do we let ourselves forget that we are loved, redeemed; that our price has been paid, that we cannot do a single thing that would cause us to be forsaken? how can we not feel infinitely overwhelmed by the fact that, despite what lowly, putrid, worms we are, God chose to love us anyway. why do we not just sit and revel in that fact? that glorious, consuming, rapturous love. that we don't deserve. that we will never deserve. why do we keep trying so hard? why can't we accept the gift our father has given us? why can't i? why don't i feel it as i ought?

a final first college experience post

well, i've done it. or, after 1:45 today i will have. finals will be over, and so will my first semester of college. i didn't expect going back home to be such a bittersweet experience. while i'm excited to be back with my family and my old friends, i'll miss the new ones so very much. they've helped me grow and become more of who i am, and they're some of the most awesome people i've ever met. i've been through some really rough times since the beginning of the semester, and while others have abandoned me, these girls have stuck by me. they care. they don't judge. they simply love. i think if more people were like them, the world would be a much happier (and waaay more awesome) place.

so farewell, dear friends. i'll see you in a month.

goodbye, college. i'll miss you.

homework... haha, who am i kidding?

sometimes i get my verbs mixed up...

have you ever noticed that sometimes we mix up the verbs "get" and "use" when we pray? i don't know exactly what brought on this thought, but i think it's worth exploring. maybe i should explain what i mean, first. there are times when i've found myself on my knees, in fervent prayer, thinking to myself "wow, i really am praying for what i ought," and "gosh darn, i'm so humble today," because i haven't asked for anything for myself. example: "dear lord, thank you for thus-and-so. i am so thankful to be blessed in this way. i fall so short of your standard, etc., etc., lord, please use me to glorify you in some way..."
now, on the surface, this seems pretty benign. in all actuality, it's one of the most selfish things i find myself doing. look at the first part of the prayer: "i am so thankful to be blessed in this way." how incredibly shallow. if you were able to see my heart at the moment those words escaped my lips, you'd find something pretty ugly. you would see the fact that deep down i think that i deserve this blessing somehow, or that i did something to "win a prize." i don't have to tell you how absurd that idea is. at some time or another, though, we've all thought the same thing. often this mode of thought defines the very way i respond to life, relationships, spirituality, etc. i forget to see the rest of the world because i stand in my own line of vision.

this leads to what i mean when i say i get my verbs mixed up. just because i didn't use the word "ask," or the phrase, "please may i have," doesn't mean that i've achieved some state of humility. in reality, i'm just as selfish as the person who says, "please, God, i've been really really good. may i please have a puppy?" okay, yeah, odd example, but whatever. you get the point. look again at the end of the example: "lord, please use me to glorify you in some way." again, how misguided and selfish can i possibly get? extra points if i sugar coat it and disguise what i'm really thinking, which is "God, i'm just so great and all... isn't there some place you need my help??"

if what i really want to do is glorify God, why do i sit on my knees asking for him to bring things to me? why am i not actively looking? the answer is grim. i think if i sound pious enough, that it counts for actually doing what i'm supposed to do. i've decided that this isn't how i want to live anymore. i want to be an active follower of Christ. instead of cowering in a corner and saying, "please, God, do the work for me," i'm going to get up and do something about it. Jesus, after all, didn't sit around on his rear waiting for the deaf and the blind to come to him with their problems. he found them. who am i to assume that i'm going to get off easier than the son of God himself?

all this to say, i'm tired of being selfish. i'm ready to let myself be used. i'm ready to really live my faith. i'm ready to stop asking, and start giving without expecting a tangible reward.

"Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works." - James 2:18

bleh, meh, ick, other synonyms for eesh

there are some days when it is nigh upon impossible to feel pretty. so what do i do on those horrible occasions? i slap on some thick mascara, a coat of fire-engine-red lipstick, and put on my feel-good black t-shirt. try it someday. it makes life so much better. unless you happen to be a guy. that would just be awkward.

my heroes... *sigh*

a deadly combination

dear humanity,

if you wish to fully decimate your brain cells, by all means please do the following. if, however, you value your brain at all and wish to avoid irreparable trauma, take heed.

it happened that today had two important tasks in store for me. one: begin a paper on aristotle's definition of justice contrasted with scripture's definition of justice. two: clean the bathroom. because it's a nice cloudy day, and i'm not tempted at all to dance about on the campus lawn in the sunshine, i thought completing these fetes would prove to be easy. simple. like baking a cake if you didn't have to measure everything. but, alas, i failed to account for the intermingling of these tasks. clorox and aristotle's endless ramblings are benign if never allowed to mingle. however, when combined, the two are an effective way to lose one's mind. i didn't have any inclination of going insane. at all. but i'm afraid it's happened all the same. i can't seem to focus on anything for more than five minutes. in fact, i've gotten up three times whilst writing this to jump around, stared off into space for at least ten minutes, and done several topply pirouettes just because i had socks on and thought it might be fun. does this sound like sane behavior to you? yeah, me either...

so, beware of the combination of cleaning products and greek philosophy. the effects are... i'm sorry, i've forgotten what i was saying. i want waffles.

a simple equation (which have always been my favorite type)

the degree of interest in homework is inversely proportionate to the amount of time spent on it. just saying.

perhaps the best i've ever written...

i thought i'd post this just for kicks. i had an assignment in political philosophy (one of the best classes i have ever taken) to write a paper using 5 words to describe humanity, using bible verses to back up my claims. this, by far, is one of the most exciting assignments i've ever been given. being a bit of an amateur philosopher, it was right up my alley. i'm (unfortunately) rather proud of this paper, which means it'll probably be ripped to shreds and given a sub-par grade. but, nevertheless, i did enjoy this. anyway, here's what i wrote:

"As I began researching words I might use to describe humanity, I found it difficult to limit my description to five adjectives. The complexity of human nature is overwhelming, but I think can best be examined by dividing our general traits into positive and negative categories. I’ll begin with the negative aspects (our fall from grace, deceitfulness, and fear), which I found to be more obvious than the positive, and conclude with the more inspirational elements of humanity (our capability for courage and compassion).
First, we are fallen. The Bible is abundantly clear on this fact. The first chapters of Genesis chronicle the creation and descent of Adam and Eve into sin. Genesis 2:17 contains the first warning to us, “…but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die." This speaks not only of a physical death, but also of the separation of God and mankind. Isaiah 3:8 and Amos 5:2 describe Israel’s fall from God’s favor through their continual rebelliousness and indifference toward His commands. Galatians 5:4 speaks of our separation from God because of our inability to fulfill the requirements of the law. God requires perfection, and we simply cannot attain it in our own efforts.
Second, we are deceitful. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” Our very core, our heart, is consumed with lies. The psalmist knew the hopelessness of our situation when he wrote, “What shall be given to you, and what more shall be done to you, you deceitful tongue?” But why are we so encumbered by deceit? I believe the next trait I will describe effectively answers this question.
There are many verses in the Bible that warn us against fear. Why is there such a dedication to this one subject? Essentially, as a result of our knowledge of right and wrong and the awareness of our sin, we have become fearful of the discovery of our warped nature. Adam’s first action after the fall was to hide from God. “He said, ‘I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself,’” Genesis 3:10. Of course, his concealment was redundant, because no one can hide from God.
Though the negative aspects of humanity are painfully obvious, we do have our redeeming qualities. Or, rather, we have the capacity to aspire to goodness because of our redemption. The first positive quality of humanity I found is courage. Five times in the book of Joshua (1:6-7, 1:9, 1:18, 10:25) God commands Joshua to “Be strong and courageous.” Obviously, God would not demand something from us if He were not inclined to make us capable of achieving it. However, without the strength God provides we would cower in fear conceivably forever, because it is our nature to be fearful.
The second positive quality I found is compassion. Though compassion is most often used to describe God, as beings created in His image (Genesis 1:27), we too are called to demonstrate compassion. Colossians 3:12 says, “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience…”
In conclusion, though human nature is multifaceted and often rather ugly, we can aspire to something more than the mess we have become if we allow God to work in us and change our hearts."

"could it be i'm falling in love?"

i can honestly say at this particular moment i am the happiest i have ever been in my entire life. i've got a peaceful feeling of contentment... this is where i'm supposed to be. this is what i'm supposed to do. and i get to be and do and learn in one of the most beautiful places i've ever been. oh, college... i'm in love with you. when can you meet the folks?

reduced to a series of piles and boxes...

i started packing on thursday...







my room feels naked. scandalous.

ordinary photos of ordinary things

hope you enjoy :)

and so is your face

Life is funny. It turns out so different than expected. Thank goodness, too, because I've got really low expectations. Really, really low. I didn't expect to run into anyone in high school that I could consider a good friend, much less my best friend. I didn't expect that that relationship would lead to others that have made my life so rich and blessed. I really didn't expect to be loved by anyone at all. And yet, through the good times, the bad, and even the gruesomely ugly, my two best, most wonderful friends have been there for me. They've rolled their eyes a lot (yeah, that's right, don't think i didn't see you), but despite everything I know they love me. And I love them more than I can say. It's been complicated, to say the least, but part of the incredible nature of these things is that you grow because of your failures. Every overreaction, inattention, and careless word has an incredulous way of making you realize how blessed you are to have anyone who will stand by your side through it all. And I've got two. Wow. You guys know who you are. I just want to say I love you both, and I'm going to miss you so much. If I could take you both with me, I would. We'd find some way to hide you in the dorm, and I'd smuggle food to you, and then we'd mess with the campus security guards and throw popcorn and leaves at the couples who don't know how to leave room for Jesus (hehehe). Guys, seriously, why are you not coming with me? We'd be so awesome... I guess we'll have to save it all for Christmas break. Don't forget me, because if you do I will come and find you in the middle of the night and scare you with a hockey mask. Oh yeah, that's right. You heard me.

No, but really, you guys have to visit. I'll even buy you smoothies. How can you turn down a deal like that?

Life Lessons

As I'm getting ready to leave (packing belongings, acquiring more junk I don't need, transitioning my decorating style from 12-year-old-hyper-enthusiast to quiet-artsy-reliable-18-year-old), I've started to reminisce on the past year and everything I've learned. Not things just about myself, but about the world, others, and how to make complicated relationships work. I've learned a lot about letting go, and it hasn't been easy. I'd have to say the majority of days I've felt like an abandoned puppy in the store-front window, watching all of its friends be taken home to a place where they're loved and accepted. There have been a lot of things I've had to deal with besides just loneliness, though. I've had to endure the waxing and waning of friendships, the uncertainty of where I would end up this Autumn, and, worst of all, I've had to confront my nightmares and accept their reality.

I'm sure everyone has had to come to grips at some point with the one thing that they would rather see locked up in a closet and forgotten for eternity. But the truth is, locking something up, pretending it doesn't exist, only makes everything worse. No matter how hard you try, the anger, the guilt, and the shame all come seeping through the cracks. At first it's easy to shrug off. It's easy to say, "I'm fine." It's easy to lie. But the hurt keeps building, and the pressure becomes too much to bear. The only answer is to deal with the issue, and to forgive. Whether it's yourself, or someone else that created the darkness inside, it has to be confronted. No one has ever healed by letting splinters fester, and pretending that the pain isn't real. I couldn't forgive on my own, though. The hurt went too deep. The shame, the self-loathing, the fear that no one would ever see me as I want to be was too much for me to deal with. I prayed for months, asking God to take the nightmares away. They didn't stop. I pleaded, bargained, and tried to cope on my own. But God never meant for us to carry our burdens alone. Sometimes, He wants us to share them. First with Him, and then with someone we trust. God created us to support each other. He knew at the beginning that it wasn't good for man to be alone. It's why He gives us family and friends who care about us.

I thank God every day that He has blessed me with such a loving family, and wonderful friends who I know I can count on, day or night. Sometimes, I really take all of it for granted. Worse, sometimes I feel like I deserve this blessing. So I keep praying, keep failing, and only by the grace of God I keep remembering how fortunate I am to have a life so full of blessings.